Wayne Brady Show
September, 2002

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Wayne Brady (WB): On Sept 24th, JAG begins its 8th Season.  8th Season! In TV time that's like 333 years.  Our first guest continues to drive the ladies crazy as JAG's hottie in uniform.  I would like to say that I did not write the word 'hottie'.  I, as a man, when referring to another male should not use the word hottie.  Please welcome ... David James Elliott. [cheers and applause]

David James Elliott David James Elliott

WB: You are a fashion plate my friend.

DJE: Thank you.

WB: That shirt and those pants are much different than your dress ... [audience cheering loudly] ... please ... [WB imitates ladies yelling], it's like going to Lion King ... [makes funny noises again]

DJE: Nice job on my name earlier [shakes WB's hand]

WB: Oh Man ... I'm such a bone head...

DJE: Kidding, kidding ...

WB: Thanks for coming out ...

DJE: Thank you ... Thanks for having me ...[loud audience cheers]

WB: We brought in the ladies that wanted to meet you... there was a line of people outside ... [loud audience cheers]

DJE: Nice...

WB: ... we have something in common ...

DJE: Yes we do ...

WB: Your wife is expecting ..

DJE: Should I show mine?

WB:  Please ... he has baby pictures as well ... [DJE shows sonogram of Wyatt] ... now that's really wierd, our babies almost looked alike ...

DJE: We are due at the same time ... I say we ... [laughs] ...

WB:  Yeah, guys always say that, we're expecting ... we didn't do anything ... well we did the one thing ... [raises finger]

DJE: Yeah, we did the one thing ... listen some guys [pause] ...can't .... can't close the deal... there is something to be said about us  [audience laughing]

WB:  Yes, we closed the deal so to speak ... later in the show we will explain 'closing the deal'  So, how has the pregnancy been for her ...

DJE: Ya know, my wife has been nicer since she has been pregnant. [audience laughs]

WB: Who you married to?

DJE: I should keep her pregnant the whole the time ... she has never been so nice ...

WB:  Glad you said that...

DJE: There was one time, about a week ago, she called and said she needed to speak to me right away. And then later when I finally got a hold of her, as I was driving home, she is like "You didn't call, it was important" [DJE mimicks Nanci] it caught me off guard and I'm like "I'm sorry" and then when I got home I'm like wait a minute ... I did so call... I called her cell phone and the home ... so I came in and said "I did so call..."

WB: And she said?

DJE: It didn't make any difference [shrugs]

David James Elliott

WB: There is a hormonal change...and I wish I was a brighter man, I wish I was a doctor, I could measure the hormonal balance/change and find out when it happened ...because I don't know exactly when it happened, did it happen when she got pregnant, second week, first month, all I know is the sound of my voice turns her into Bruce Banner, The Incredible Hulk ... "Hey baby, it's me and then mimicks the 'Hulk'"

DJE: [Nodding and laughing] You did it to her, huh? You are the one responsible for the agony ... I heard you say before ... You were looking forward to having someone to support you in the a ... because I have one child, a 9 year old ... and I tell you...now I have two people against me ...

WB: The way I see it, you raise your child, you change the baby's diapers now and they can change yours later.  This a.. universal truth ...

DJE:  We hope ...

WB: How long have you been married?

DJE: 10 years

WB: 10 Years!  That's great ... [audience starts to applaud] ...you can appluad for that, you know what, especially in Hollywood [DJE interjects - "In this town']... That's incredible. 

[Reacts with lady in audience ...yes maam, 10 years, in Hollywood... DJE laughs]

WB: So what did you do over your hiatus?

DJE: I had a great time, I went to the Bahamas, that's another thing we have in common, my father is from the Bahamas, ...

WB: ... and my father is from the Virgin Islands ...

DJE:  The Carribean ...

WB: St Thomas, St Croix ...

DJE: Okay, So I went there, I have a house there... there for 5 weeks, then I went to Italy for 3 weeks and then I went to Africa with the Discovery channel to swim with Great White Sharks.

WB: You swam with sharks ... you my friend are crazy ...

DJE: Yes ... but who knew ... 'cause I went and thought I would be in a cage with these ... well not with the sharks - laughing - sharks on the outside, me in the cage ... and I arrived they asked if I would consider getting outside the cage... I thought they were kidding, and I like said "If you get out, if you do"  He said well I am not going to be in the cage.  I'm like great ... I'm the only guy in the cage.

WB:  But you said yes though...

DJE: Well what am I going to do ... it was that or humiliation. My wife oddly enough said 'I think you should'.

WB: Well... That's your wife ...'I think you should get of the cage'.  You still said Yes.  You are a brave man, my friend.

DJE:  Let me tell you, I was scared to death.

WB:  Did you make the water yellow

DJE: Laughs and nods, maybe a little bit ... okay I didn't sleep the entire night before, then when I saw the footage, because it has aired already, I could see, there were sections, before the dive and I look petrified.  I mean ...you [pointing to the audience] didn't know but I knew ... because

WB: ... Because you are the man!

DJE: Yep, I  am the man.  But once I ... We did it for two days ... we were in ... uh ... such a ... you can't speak under water ... you got a camera guy ... and they are syaing "David we want to isolate you ... and the shark, ... together... so you need to go out near this 20 foot shark-

WB:  Spoken like a true producer ...

DJE: So we did it, I went out, the shark come by and takes a real close look at you, they are wary...they don't just charge in, [pause] all the time, well occasionally they do, they come by and they are looking at you, are you ... do I want to eat you ... or are you another predator ... and he went by ... and I thought okay - I lived though it and I went to the camera man 'Did you get it?' and he said 'No I was messing with the lense'.  [hands in the air] So we had to come back the next day and do it again.

WB: That would not have been me my friend because sharks love dark meat.  We have more with David James Elliott ... we will be right back ...

 

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WB:  We are back with the major general of love  ...  David James Elliott.  Now, this is a picture of your beautiful, beautiful ... they are quite a couple aren't they?  See... Nanci Chambers and she is on JAG as well.  So both of you are in the business and both of you are on the same show as well.  How does your daughter handle that?

DJE: She's well .... I think it's starting to ... I don't know ... she's never known anything different ... I was on a show before this, when she was born, so she has always been in show business, the weird thing that she got used to that struck me as a little odd was limosines.  When she was 5, when she started school, she expected to go to school in a limosine, because everytime we had gone out it was in a limosine, and I tried to explain to her, first of all, I never paid for the limosines we were in, and well you know, [shrugs, audience laughs] and if we didn't fly first class, because when you fly somewhere in the business, someone else pays the way ...

WB: Yes please stress, someone else pays because I don't want those at home to say "Oh really, you got to fly first class, I feel sorry for you flying first class... oh no, I'll sit back here ... [audience laughing]

DJE: So she got use to the trappings ... I'm trying to break her of that.

WB:  My nephew Bronson is the exact same way.  He is 8.  I've been on TV most of his life now.  What's great is because we are a Disney show, and I am on ABC, whenever I go to Disney I get the chance to go backstage.  There was once when I was not able to go with him, so I had a buddy take him and they were not able to go backstage and they had to wait in line and he looked at my friend "Why can't we go back" and then he said "Oh you aren't the Wayne Brady" and that is such an odd thing for a child to say.

DJE:  And they ... you don't want them to do that ... because down the line ... so...

WB:  Yeah... you have to break tham of that now ...  Do not spoil your child.

DJE:  It's difficult to not spoil your child.  It's hard.  My wife is forever beating me up about it, because I'm like yeah have that, I would have loved to have that when I was your age.  Here ...

WB:  But, yeah, you can't spoil them.  You have to give them the 'When I was your age I didn't have toys, I played with potatoes ...

DJE:  Exactly ... [laughing]

WB:  I played with potatoes and I would make little men out of them ... Wait, that does exist, that's not that bad, it is a toy ... [thumbs up] 'Go out and get a Mr. Potatoe Head, today'.   You, on your show, are part of JAG which stands for what?

DJE:  Judge Advocate General

WB:   Now that is an acronym...

DJE:  Yes it is an acronym - it stands for it is the whole law core of the military.

WB:  Now, you on a show, you have all the speak down... do you know a lot of acronyms?  I'm sure you have to say them

DJE:  I know some of them ... maybe if I don't know them now - I knew them once.

WB:  Well that is what we want to see ... my father was in the military and I know a lot of them, so I thought it would be fun to play a game where I pit my knowledge of acronyms against yours ...

DJE:  And we believe you didn't get any coaching ...

WB:  No, no coaching, ask anyone out there, I don't even know what they are I swear ...

DJE:  Right ...

WB:  Bring out the stools, and to help us out ... General Jonathon ...

WB:  We are going to have a seat on these stools, sir ...  oh I forgot the buzzers ... [David's buzzer is quite weak and WB's buzzer is obnoxiously loud]   ... laughing ...   I've got the bigger buzzer.

DJE:  Before we start the game, Wayne, I have a question, what is missing from his lid ... from his cover ... if he were actually from the ...

WB:  But that is a Naval hat ...

DJE:  Yes but there is something missing from it if he's an officer ...

WB:  If he's an officer?  The little plaque that say's ... 'I am an officer'

DJE:  The scrambled eggs ...

WB:  Oh yeah, the scrambled eggs, that's right ...

DJE:  Well I guess he could still be an officer but not a higher up ...

WB:  Well that means you are one point up and you made me look dumb. 

DJE:  Well alright...

WB:  Okay so now we are ready, buzz in if you know the answer.

General Jonathon (GJ): First one,  AWOL

WB:  Absent without leave

GJ:  That's correct.

DJE:  Except ... that's not Naval ... it's UA in the Navy.  Unauthorized absence... AWOL is an Army term.

WB:  But on the Wayne Brady show it's AWOL ..

GJ: Number 2 - OCS

DJE:  OCS - Officers ...

WB:  OCS - Officers Communal Safe - that's where they put everything.

DJE:  OCS - Officers Service Club ...

GJ:  No - Officer Candidate School 

DJE:  Officer Candidate School??

WB:  Okay - so the score is one to zip ...

GJ:  APO ...

DJE:  Laughing ...this is difficult

WB:  Oh wow

DJE:  I haven't a clue, mine didn't go

GJ:  That's correct - Army Post Office

WB:  Oh - I feel so stupid, move on, move on ...

GJ:  NCO ...

WB:  Noncommissioned Officer

GJ: That's it!  Here's a bonus question, ok?

DJE:  How am I going to walk back on the set after this?

GJ:   ONYD

DJE:  ONYD?? 

WB:  ONYD? 

GJ:  Yes

WB:  Oh No you didn't...

WB:  I won [raising arm]

WB:  David James Elliott - watch him on JAG!

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