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Jimmy Kimmel Live
May 15, 2003

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Jimmy Kimmel (JK):   Every week for the last 8 years, our next guest has played Navy Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr. on JAG.  He's practically a veteran, so you better show him respect, damm it.  Please welcome David James Elliott, everyone!

JK:   How are you, David? 

DJE:   I'm good, thank you.

JK:   You didn't bring any menacing looking friends to sit in the balcony to support you?

DJE:   No, I've got nobody.

JK:   No one?

DJE:   And I've been watching backstage, and it seems you are the 3 people who have never seen my show.

JK:   I actually have seen it one time.  I have seen it once.  Don't feel bad.   I haven't seen CSI.   I haven't seen ER in about 8 years, I'd say.  So don't feel hurt.   The one episode of yours I did see, you were making out with my girlfriend, and I appreciate that.  Thanks so much for that (David smiles).   So it leaves a little bit of a bad taste in my mouth, I have to say.

DJE:   That's a nice chair.

JK:   Thank you.  You like the chair?!  (David laughs)  Have you seen this show?

DJE:   Yeah, all the time, uh... (smiles)

JK:   Well, now we're even, aren't we, and I didn't make out with your wife on this show, did I? 

DJE:   And you know what?  I've never seen ER, but I did see Monica's (Lewinsky) show.

JK:   You did see Mr. Personality?

DJE:   But I couldn't get by the masks.

JK:   Yeah, the masks were menacing.   They changed the masks after the first week, didn't they?

ML:   Well, they went from all silver to the colored masks, but I wasn't wearing a mask.

DJE:   I saw the episode right before the colored masks.

ML:   Oh, that was the first one.

JK:   Because it seems like they're going to kill the girl.

DJE:   Yeah, it's so bizarre.

JK:   It's a ritual, right?   Like that movie....

ML:   Yeah, Eyes Wide Shut.   It's interesting, because in person after 30 seconds, you forgot that they were in masks and sort of really were into whatever.....

JK:   Really?

ML:   I swear!

JK:   So you're a lawyer and you're a pilot both on JAG?

DJE:   Yes.

JK:   And how does that work?  In real life do they have both?

DJE:   In the court -- in the air.   Yeah, actually, I thought it was a little farfetched.   But frankly, I guess they both are that linear kind of right brain stuff.

JK:   But do they have them?

DJE:   Yeah, a lot of pilots at a certain point in their career, go over to that way.

JK:   Did you have one of those deals.... When you do something like this, you usually get to go fly in the plane?

DJE:   I've been up with the Angels.

JK:   Oh, you did?   Did they screw with you like they do with people?

DJE:   Well, they tried, but it doesn't bother me.  I could spin all day.

ML:   You didn't get sick?

DJE:   No..

ML:   Wow, a lot of people going up for the first time get really sick.

JK:   I vomit in a massage chair. 

DJE:   You know, my wife and I, we went up one time because she was all about going up, because everyone thinks that would be the greatest thing.  But she gets motion sick terribly, and we went up together to dog fight in these little jets.  We just got up and we had to come back down.  It was a disaster.

JK:   Did she throw up?

DJE:   Not on me.   She was in another plane.  So luckily.......

JK:   You were dog fighting with your wife?

DJE:   Well, we tried.

JK:   That's more than OJ did (audience groans).  A little levity here!  (A very pro OJ crowd here.)    Do you have to wear the uniform a lot?

DJE:   Yeah, it's good because you don't have fittings.  Normally on a show, every week you've got to come in and waste an hour fitting -- it's a bore.  9 years of wasting an hour every day or every other day, and I don't have to do that.   I come in and (go).

JK:   I'd wear a uniform everywhere, if I had a uniform for the show.  I mean, I'd wear it driving and arrest people.

Mekhi Phifer (Dr.Pratt on ER) (MP):   Actually, on ER what we do is, I do a basic wardrobe fitting in the beginning.   I say, this is the stylish stuff that I want.   These are my measurements, and give Dr.Pratt his style.

DJE:   Right!

JK:   Don't you have to wear doctor's outfits?

MP:   We wear the actual scrubs and stuff like that, but we have stylish ties and suits. 

DJE:   Really?  You get to go out.   See, when we go out, we still wear the uniform.

JK:   Do you ever wear it out?

DJE:   Oh yeah (David laughs)!   I'm all about it, Man.  I have it backstage.   I just threw this on.

JK:   I would wear it all the time, I swear to God.  I wouldn't mind driving around like that. 

DJE:   You know, you'd probably look good.   It might be an interesting show.

JK:   I could have been a lawyer/pilot.  I really could of.  My parents hoped that for me, and it never worked out.    Your wife was in JAG, right?

DJE:   Yeah, she was on for just short of 4 years. 

JK:   And what happened?   I read this, and this is an unbelievable story to me.   She was on it and then she got pregnant.

DJE:   And then they killed her.

JK:   And then they killed her!  That's got to be against the law somehow.

DJE:   Not only that, but then they found her faceless body.   I guess they didn't want to pay her to come on and die, so.....

JK:   So she can't come back.

DJE:   Well, no.

JK:   And you're going to show that episode to the kids? 

DJE:   Oh yeah.  It's been on.  The children were all about that....

JK:   It seems like they'd love that scene with Mommy and Daddy and Mommy loses her face.

DJE:   And I'm accused.

JK:   Oh, you're falsely accused.
DJE:   Yes.  I think that storyline has just wrapped.

JK:   We didn't ruin anything by giving it away?  

DJE:   No, no.  We didn't give it away.  No,  no.  Not that you would care.

JK:   You're a Canadian?

DJE:   I didn't mean to be, but yeah, I am.  No, I didn't mean that.

JK:   You speak beautiful English.  Are you a hockey player?

DJE:   You know what, I'm not, No.  The one Canadian who's not a hockey player.  I'm not even a hockey fan.

JK:   I think hockey should end at 25 years old.  Oh, you don't like hockey at all?

DJE:   I'm not against it.   I just don't follow it.

JK:   Do you hate it?  Why do you hate hockey so much?

DJE:   My Mother played hockey, and......  You and I don't want to go there right now.

JK:   Are you a citizen now, I hope?

DJE:   Yeah, I am --- yeah, I am!

JK:   We don't let any foreigners on this show.  Don't know if you knew that's our policy.

DJE:   Yeah, I heard that's the criteria -- I got in.

JK:   Did you have the ceremony where you were naturalized?

DJE:   I was.

JK:   Was that nice for you?

DJE:   Yeah, I dug it.   I mean, it was a big moment in my life.

JK:   How did you do on the test?

DJE:   I was going to ace that test.   I studied for, like a good straight 10 days.  You know, my wife would quiz me, and I went in.  They went, "OK, here's 10 questions -- answer these".  I answered the first one, and he says, "alright, I know you've got it".

JK:   Really?

DJE:   Yeah!

JK:   Did he say, 'OK, you're the guy from JAG.  You're in'?

DJE:   No, he didn't do that!  But I guess he just knew I had it down.

JK:   Well, that doesn't seem like that's how it should go.  We may have to re-evaluate you.  Anyone have the test?  We're going to give David the test again at the end of the program.

JK:   ......David James Elliott is here.   Be right back.

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