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MadTV
Feb 12, 2000
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Conductor Clark: The Reading Caboose has arrived. I'm Conductor Clark.
Ms. Janice: And I'm Ms. Janice. Hey! What time is it?
Kids: Reading time!
CC and MJ: That's right!
MJ: Today we're going to take a look at the letter N.
CC: That's right. N as in ... numbers.
MJ: Or, nectarine ...
CC: Or, Nembutal.
MJ: For example, Nembutal mixed with chlorohydrate caused the suicide of Marilyn Monroe.
CC and MJ: Or did it?
.....
MJ: Hey, guess what?
CC: What?
MJ: To help us take a look at the letter N, we have children's author Bob Dempsey.
CC: Hiya Bob! What do you got for us today?
DJE: Well, Conductor Clark, today I brought a book that I wrote myself.
DJE: It's called... Goddess, Whore, Target, The Plot to Kill Marilyn.
MJ: That sounds fun! Hey! Let's take a peek!
DJE: Well, another N word is Nap. Marilyn liked to take naps with President Kennedy and his brother Robert. N is also for Nuclear! It was after one of these naps at around the time of the Cuban Missile Crisis the Kennedys allegedly told Marilyn secrets about America's nuclear capabilities.
Kid: Conductor Clark, are those Kennedy men really that bad?
CC: Well, Ernie ... yes! Hey! That reminds me of another N word. Noguchi!
DJE: That's right! Thomas Noguchi, the coroner who conducted Marilyn's autopsy. He has long voiced his opinion that the death scene had been tampered with. When it came time to examine the specimens in Marilyn's stomach, they were no longer available.
CC: Wow! So the wholething was just made to look like a suicide.
Hobo Dan: And paid for with Pentagon money. CC: Where's Ernie? .... Ernie: Here I am!
CC: He was only hiding!
Hobo Dan: Which just goes to show how quickly the government can snatch away people we love. Hey, that reminds me of a song.
[sung to the tune of Oh! Susannah!]
Hobo Dan: Oh the CIA killed Marilyn Because of what she knew But she was not the only one, they killed Vince Foster too.All: Oh Ms. Monroe! Our greatest star was you!
DJE: But they pumped you with barbiturates Because of what you knew.
MJ: Hey, let's take a look at Marilyn Monroe's phony autopsy report. Kids: Yeah!
DJE: Do you smell smoke?
CC: It's time for a break! There'll be more fun-formational reading when we return. But until then, remember: the most important part of reading is....
All: Reading between the lines!
